What if the Masters was held at the Sinton Municipal Course rather than Augusta. There's no way those pros could compete with those furry tee boxes that somehow seem to have more grass than the entire fairway, the gopher holes that eat up more balls than the water hazards and the 4 inch wide gashes in the middle of the fairway from the drought that always occurs in South Texas. And don't even get me started on the greens. Those things are the size of a Ford Festiva, and about as slippery as them too. If you're lucky your ball will not be lined off course by a passing fire ant. And the South Texas wind that even at 30 miles inland still blows hard off that beautiful green, murkey, red-tide infested waters of the Gulf of Mexico. You might as well take a putter and drive off the tee boxes on 2 and 8 cause if you're ball gets in the air, it has a good chance of landing somewhere behind you.
Yes those pros don't know how unlucky they are to never be able to experience a true golfing experience. Gotta love that dusty old muni.